Once upon a time in the month of August 2009 the Year of the Earth Ox , two adventurous friends named ChehCheh and Niao-Miao (whose names will be changed to protect them from being mobbed *cough, cough*) arrived in Beijing one day ahead of Lhooh, who was the only one of the trio who could speak Chinese.
After finding a hostel and depositing their gear, both girls explored their surroundings on foot, managing to discover Liulichang Jie, with its restored buildings and many stores. Further on, they at last managed to see Tian'an Men Square, but Niao-Miao protested that she had to have something to eat first before tackling the imposing square.
So, they trudged past the big KFC and stores and tea-houses and came to a bustling restaurant which had an informal and homey setting and which didn't seem to have any Western tourists at all.
Being "adventurous", the two friends sat down and were approached by a waitress who quickly handed them menus with the Chinese characters and waited expectantly for their order. Niao-Miao dared to ask in English, "May we have menu with pictures or in English please?" and made a square in the air with her fingers (like a picture) and the waitress went away.
Upon her return, the waitress deposited two menus with pictures but both friends couldn't really decide as they still didn't know what were the ingredients of the viands.
Coming up with a fool-proof idea of demonstrating what they were looking for - ChehCheh suddenly folded her arms, tucked her hands inside said arms, then made a flapping motion with her limbs and gave off a loud "Quack! Quack!"
However, the waitress just stoically stared at her.
ChehCheh then switched tactics, ehrm...I mean, animals and snorted out an "Oink! Oink!", maybe thinking a pig was easier to copy and understand? Alas! still no response.
ChehCheh repeated the actions with brave determination and dogged insistence once more. (Niao-Miao personally thought that if her friend said "Oink-Oink!" and flapped her arms, maybe then it would have made some convoluted sense that they wanted duck and pork).
The response was unexpected.
The waitress left them, never to return again, having been mentally scarred for life by the incident.
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Kidding!
The long-suffering waitress did return after a while and helped the two friends decide on their dishes by pointing out to more pictures on the walls (though it was probably a longer process than she was normally used to).
But Niao-Miao saw her shaking her head resignedly as she went away after taking their orders, probably wondering what in the world the two girls were actually trying to do.
Do ducks and pigs have a different sound representing them in other languages?
* toink-toink -> wonder what animal this is? *
DISCLAIMER: the tales being shared by the writer in this series of blogs, while they did happen, have been exaggerated or colorfully added details for humorous purposes. It is not meant to imply anything derogatory about the Chinese culture or people.
Very likely, they should have snorted twice though their noses while breathing in, that can only sound like a pig because it is a sound and not a series of words. Ducks should also be fine if they make a quacking sound without actually saying "Quack quack" or "Rap, rap"
ReplyDelete555
John, I was looking for seafood dishes like fish or shrimps...
ReplyDeleteI decided not to pursue it..for fear that I couldn't come up with a brilliant portrayal of such animals :-)
Ha ha ha, Yes, it would not be easy as neither make a sound under water. If you tried to wag your finger to look like a shrimp you'd probably have been served a plate full of worms!
ReplyDeleteYuk.
waaah! although they may be good protein, I don't think I can stand it...
ReplyDeleteI did see some barbecued little scorpions, seahorses and some bugs in another food market alley on another night....urgh and urgh!
I really should have brought extra paper with me..maybe then we could just have drawn the stuff :-)
That's a very good idea.
ReplyDeletethough my drawing skills are horrible...
ReplyDeletemaybe instead of interpreting my fish as a fish..they would bring me something exotic like a seahorse on a stick...:-(
55555
ReplyDeleteBwahaha!
ReplyDeleteLOL LOL LOL!
ReplyDeleteHugz had some scorpions before, at a lavish banquet he attended in China a few years ago. Apparently, they are considered a delicacy. =)
ReplyDeleteCat, I so love this Once Upon A Time in Beijing series of yours! ^_^ Wish we were there, too!
ReplyDeleteokay..how did he describe the taste?
ReplyDeletepersonally I fear that if I were to taste itm it may just have its revenge by being resurrected and biting me on the tongue when I chew on it...eeek!
hi Ms. G.
ReplyDeletewe were talking about both of you and wished you were with us, imagining what other shenanigans we could been embroiled in...Loo and Che are fun companions to be with during trips..though I think Loo was exhausted playing tourist guide, financier, translator, photographer, model, taster etc. amongst other things...
the waitress was traumatized by chehcheh hihihihi.I know for sure xoz she didn't speak to me at all after that hahahahahah!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have known the thoughts inside her head when that quack-quack-oink-oink thing you did went on :-)
ReplyDeletei should have been there to enjoy this trip much better...but reading the series is equally hilarious already!
ReplyDeletehi Meann,
ReplyDeletesa gulo ng group natin, if we had made a group trip, am sure a lot of other equally hilarious things would have happened...as it is, it was anything goes for two of us...
would you believe, in the middle of one of the gates to the Forbidden City, we were all jumping about (coz jump shots ika nga) like we had worms ....shempre...almost everybody started at us...me, I was sort of shy..pero go si Che...hahaha!
I remember this street! Way back in 1989, it was THE tourist spot to go to for shopping in Beijing. At that time, there were really not so many tourists in China. I was there only for work (I was associate producer for a Philippines-China movie).
ReplyDelete1989 China:
- People were still wearing Mao suits in dark hues of grey and blue, wearing the canvas coolie shoes
- There were very few cars and some bikes. The common mode of transport were very long buses.
-There were two kinds of money: the Renmimbi for the locals and the FEC (foreign exchange currency) for the foreigners
-Aside from Liulichang Jie, the only place where foreigners were allowed to shop was in the Friendship Stores (like a department store, more upscale than the stores where the locals shop).
- Since I looked Chinese, I sneaked into some local shops and got Mao caps and coolie shoes using sign language! I spoke to them in tagalog, not English. Why? I was told that there were many minorities who had been flocking to Beijing at that time looking for work. I blended in with a plain tshirt and dark-colored cotton pants (denims is a dead giveaway you are a foreigner) and talking in tagalog, the salesladies thought I just came from the boondocks, haha! I had previously exchaged my FEC for RMB with some black marketeers near our hotel. I really got a lot of very cheap items.
- Spitting was still rampant. Thus, one had to be always on the lookout for any suspicious gurgling sound around, or else one might get hit with spit on the foot or the leg, hehe.
1995 China when Hugz and I went on a tour of Beijing, Shanghai and Guilin:
- Wow, glorious colors! Gone were the dark greys and blues. The Mao caps and coolie shoes were now jjust tourist items.
- There were many cars and bikes.
- The Friendship Store was no more and in Shanghai, some high end western boutiques had sprouted.
- The currency was now the Yuan for everybody.
2004 Shanghai:
- We could have been in New York or Paris or any cosmopolitan city in the world! =)
- Hugz and I had been making Shanghai our one-day stop from Guiyang for the past three years. We love Shanghai.
I'd like to go to Beijing sometime soon to see the new architectural marvels.
Ms. G,
ReplyDeletethis time it was the place fronting Qian Men which was super bustling...
the Qian Men Dajie for me is more interesting than going to Wangfujing, which had lots of those modern department stores..
wait till you see Che's pictures (no pressure Che! hehehe!)
we were quite lucky we stayed very near and our street (Dazhalan Jie) crossed over Meishi St to connect with the Qian Men area..which had more shops na old-style Chinese ang hitsura...
a few culture-shock moments for me:
ReplyDelete- spitting all around (we walked innumerable hutongs, so this description is more applicable there)
- chopsticks, plastic covers of plates and bowls and cups, cigarette butts on resto floors in the hutong area (I just noticed on the last day, no wonder the debris ended on the floor, they didn't tidy it into trays when cleaning the tables)
- surly servers - medyo di pa yata talaga fully service-oriented thinking ang peeps
ah yes, I remember this part...you mean 1995 lang last trip nyo for Beijing after that...coz its all been Shanghai afterwards?
ReplyDelete- very long buses still abound
ReplyDelete- bikes kept honking on the streets
btw, please note, that we didnt' stay in the big hotels or the touristy, cleaner places which are bigger...I guess you could say we delved into an ordinary citizen's life for a little while
- I don't think we got inside a Friendship store...there's nothing like this left anymore?
- that disguise of yours as a minority from the Boondocks sounded fun! hahaha!
for me though, I refrained from shopping, not matter how cheap the items were because I thought sooner or later, its going to arrive here in Philippines anyway, and frankly I am more for long-lasting stuff...
- wow..being spit on the leg or foot is so eeeky (a girlie reaction from moi) hahaha!
Although I certainly do like to see Shanghai, I would chose Beijing probably over it if I were to be restricted to just 1 visit to China...
ReplyDeleteI feel sad thinking that the old Shanghai I have heard about ages ago is disappearing bit by bit..the Bund is gorgeous looking though :-)
I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall and seen that show! LOL
ReplyDeleteI love Shanghai and hope to visit again it is such a dynamic place.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't get to Beijing, but we went to Xi'an, which is quite amazing and one of the old capitals of China. You can see the Terracotta Warriors and the Great Goose Pavilion where Buddhism was brought to China and the Sutras translated for the first time.
Unfortunately, yes. Although Boboy had been to various other places in China on his own since then.
ReplyDeleteI forgot, we had also gone to Hangzhou in 1995. Boboy loved the place so much, he vowed he'd go back to spend some time there to write. But when he went back (I think in early 2000), he found it too cosmopoiltan already. I personally loved Guilin and my son Bikbik and his wife Len told me that it is still charming. They were there last year.
O, Wangfuching in 1989 was full of shops already. But the shops were for the locals except for one, I think, that had ethnic items for tourists. When we went back in 1995, Wangfuching's shops had already been converted to upscale department stores.
ReplyDeleteI do not remember the Qian Men area as bustling, even in 1995. Hugz and I should schedule a Beijing trip soon. =)
Oh, so spitting in public has not been completely eradicated?! I heard that spitting in public areas had been banned and considered a public offense with a fine in Beijing. So, it seems like this is true only in the touristy areas. =(
ReplyDeleteSurly servers: this is true even way back in 1989. This is the way it was explained to me: they were all employed by the state, thus, they got their pay regardless of whether they did their job well or not. It made me think that somehow a bit of capitalist competition would be good for the system.
Oh, by our 1995 trip, the Friendship Stores were already gone.
ReplyDeleteCat, you can still go to some old parts of Shanghai that have been restored beautifully.
ReplyDeleteI wished I could have gotten a video of it..but I was hungry so I just remembered afterwards when my hunger was satisfied...*grin*
ReplyDeleteActually that was what I wanted to really visit...I was imagining it as Paris of the East - all those years ago...but then I am more for culture thingie, so changed my mind and opted to prioritize Beijing...
ReplyDeletewaaah!
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to see the Terracotta Warriors..but it was a bit far off..so had to be content with pictures taken by Che of me posing with some copies of the warriors in a shop in Liulichang...never mind..all the more reason for me to say, I shall return!
ah, the price of progress....
ReplyDeleteI hope that they can really take care of their places with such cultural and historic impact the way the Japanese did with their temples and other structures..such a waste if it would all go away..
though I gotta admit, having all the other tourists milling around during summer in these places did make the journey for us more arduous...
yes, a capital idea! if not this year, am sure next year the renovations they did would be in place na...
ReplyDeleteour street was actually quite a good location, except that timing they were doing road repairs etc. but I expect when its finished, it ought to be linking up with that side of Qian Men and a convenient place to stay..
IMHO a capitalist way would be quite suited to the Chinese culture...can you imagine the way it would be if service deluxe was what they dished out regardless of the rewards? tapos China pa..where its cheap...*sigh*
ReplyDeletesa Philippines, ok naman service natin, but we are just too small and cannot accomodate even if may demand...so I wish China well..
well, I suppose its better now...though I did very little shopping..
ReplyDeleteYeah, China is a BIG country. When people ask why I didn't go there especially my family in New York State I ask them how often they get to Los Angeles after all the distance is nearly the same.
ReplyDeleteMs. G, cge, next time...hehehe...
ReplyDeleteChe and I were talking we should save up and target a trip to Moscow, going thru China, Tibet etc...malay, we can dream can't we? maybe dropping by Shanghai by that time...
ah..now I remember the reason I was content with visiting US after only visiting Sanfo and NYC...:-)
ReplyDeleteeverything in China is big...it sometimes boggles my mind (if I take time to ponder on it) why they'd come up with such big, big places like the Forbidden City and even just the Summer Palace..if I were the ruler, I'd be tired thinking about it (but all the more reason to flex the muscles to remind the people around who was the power I guess)
Yeah, you have to impress all those barbarians that come calling on the Emperor with a mandate from Heaven! Be sure to kowtow and bring plenty of tribute. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI was just imagining it now if the last ruling dynasty wasn't ousted, how China would be nowadays (always fond of alternate universes!)
ReplyDeleteI had always wanted to go to Xian, specifically to see the terra cotta warriors. But it is so far from the other usual tourist destinations that to add Xian to the itinerary would make the package quite expensive. =( Well, one of these days, I think I will go.
ReplyDeleteThat would be a grand idea for a trip! I have a friend who followed the Silk Route, from China to Europe, and she did this at a time when China was not yet fully opened. She coordinated her trip via diplomatic channels (she was an international development agency consultant at that time, I think).
ReplyDeleteI would think that this sort of journey would be easier to undertake now.
I hope you get a chance. It really is worth it!
ReplyDeleteThat would be interesting. Looks like you have a book project ;-)
ReplyDeleteMs. G, please, may need ba kayo for travel assistant? maski walang bayad, basta masama nyo lang ako sa tagabitbit ng laptop nyo.. (Mac naman kc, sosi pa ako)....mwahaha!
ReplyDeletetargeting it within 5 years, so possibly more easy by that time :-)
ReplyDeleteor else mag shift ako to NGO kaya...hehe...
did a goose (heavenly or not) have something to do with Buddhism being brought into China?
ReplyDeleteHehe, another Cat kind of question. ^_^
ReplyDeleteI can't help it...statements like that make one curious :-)
ReplyDeleteNot that I'm aware. I don't know how it got its name.
ReplyDeleteok, its google time!
ReplyDelete