Once Upon a Time in Beijing...5: "Watch those Shoes!"

* for this tale to work, you must keep in mind that if the Chinese language has different ways of pronouncing even one syllable, English has its own pitfalls too when its spoken *


Once upon a time in 2009 the Year of the Earth Ox , in the auspicious month of August, three adventurous and unsuspecting friends named Niao-Miao, ChehCheh and Lhooh (they are obviously that obvious even with such names!)  went to Beijing to not only see famous sights of the fabled city but to amble around and do some shopping, be it window-shopping or otherwise.

Remember that most products nowadays  are manufactured in China, so what could be more warming to the cockles of a shopaholic's  heart (albeit only a window-shopaholic one like Niao-Miao) than strolling through Wangfujing in the middle of said country?

This area is a veritable shopper's paradise, with its line of department stores and malls, and since the street is off-limits to cars and other vehicles, the whole street is open game to strollers and shoppers alike.

Late at night, Niao-Miao was gazing very happily at all the displays when she excitedly chattered to Lhooh that she had this brilliant and wonderful idea for buying Crocs!  On the very valid reasoning that what what she had were all "Made in China" anyway, wasn't it an absolutely capital idea procuring one or two more Crocs during this trip?

Lhooh gave thoughtful consideration and then helpfully launched into a practical and erudite discussion of the pros and cons of buying a branded item like that on their trip.  ChehCheh and Niao-Miao were listening intently (as its always good to know the ins and outs of such an adventurous shopping expedition in a country where probably 95% of all goods found worldwide came from).

Many, many (ehem!) minutes later, Lhooh gave a nod of satisfaction and finished up his explanation - knowing that the two girls were more or less now aware of the + and - of such an undertaking.

With a concluding sentence of "......And don't forget, you must also think carefully of the difficulty of taking such an item out of China and transporting it back to your home country!" Lhooh finished with a dramatic flourish.

Niao-Miao was struck by a thought with his last sentence and asked,  "But Lhooh,  why is transportation difficult?  When I can wear them on my feet?"

Lhooh stopped walking with a very disconcerted look on his face  and blurted out, "Eh? Wear on... your....feet? "

Hmm....the mystery deepens! The plot thickens! The suspense quickens! The.....


"If I were to WEAR them on my FEET, " said the slightly perplexed Niao-Miao, " then there wouldn't be any problem of bringing the Crocs out of China, right?"

She then raised her right leg outward, twirling around her foot on her cute ankle (she is the heroine of this story, so never mind her description of her ankle!) , showing off one half of her dirty, dark cyan pair of Crocs which had traversed through innumerable hutongs, dusty, spit-upon, muddy roads in Beijing, not to mention being trod upon sometimes in crowded trains.

"Huh?......CROCS?!" gasped Lhooh who looked torn between hilarity, dismay and exhaustion.

"Uh-huh, that's what I said - Crocs," trailed off  the bewildered Niao-Miao.

Both girls could only look at Lhoo worriedly and Niao-Miao thought imaginatively that her friend was turning red and white and blue every other second.

" CROCS!....HAHAHA! .......I thought you wanted to buy CLOCKS! " gurgled the finally-laughing Lhooh.

The two girls started in incredulity at each other for a second, then both burst out giggling in the middle of the shopping district, probably raising eyebrows and more "Hmmpph! ....Tourists!!" thoughts from the other passersby.

And the moral lesson of this little tale?
Do not ever buy and wear clocks on your feet, even when they are cheap and made in China!

DISCLAIMER: The tales being shared by the writer in this series have been written with no other purpose than share the fun and amuse any gentle reader who happens to pass by. There is no intention to disparage nor imply anything else except the fact that sharing a trip with good friends can still give one the hiccups from laughing so hard when faced with the unexpected.