Once Upon a Time in Beijing...6: "The Young and the Wrathless"

Once upon a time in 2009 the Year of the Earth Ox , in the very auspicious month of August, three adventurous and unsuspecting friends named Niao-Miao, ChehCheh and her beloved Lhooh (by this time if you don't know who they are already, then you obviously haven't been reading 1 to 5 of this series!) - went to Beijing to sight-see and exercise.

One such "exercise" was a stroll to the Temple of Heaven. It's literal name is actually Altar of Heaven and it is a complex of Taoist buildings in the Xuanwu District. It was usually visited by the Emperors of different dynasties for their annual offering of prayers for good harvest.

One thing to note before proceeding is that Lhooh looks like a jolly ever-smiling Japanese, ChehCheh a petite and tanned-looking Filipina and Niao-Miao, with the exception of her ever-present hat, which was a dead giveaway to her being a tourist, looks Chinese enough to pass for a local. In other words, the three do not look related to each other.

As the usual wont after all that walking and climbing, the three energetic ones went to a stall to look through their wares and buy something to drink. They encountered an American woman who was for some time already having  difficulty in confirming from the seller if the green tea drink they had for sale had sugar or not (she had not gotten to the point though of trying out ChehCheh's way of pantomime).

Being the kind and good man that he was, Lhooh offered to interpret her request and the American was quite grateful for getting what she wanted at long last.  Lhooh and ChehCheh were quite chatty and friendly with the woman and talked of different topics.

After some point, the American guilelessly asked both, "Is she your daughter?" indicating the quietly smiling Niao-Miao at her side.

The three froze and sweat-dropped. Separate thought bubbles formed above each their respective heads.

Lhooh (deflated):
"After all the translating I did for her, this is how she repays me? By implying I am old enough to be a father of a woman in her late thirties?!!"

ChehCheh (slack-jawed):
"WHHUUTT?  Excuse me...I am younger than her! Okay, I admit... maybe a few months diff...but I am still YOUNGER!!"

Niao-Miao (pondering): 
"Hmm...maybe I should ask my brand-new parents for a monthly allowance?"

The American continued blithely and figuratively placed the final nail in her coffin by remarking further aloud, "Well, with Asians one never knows....and she looks so young..."

ChehCheh (with demonic red eyes and steam coming out of her ears):
"And I look old? I am SO going to scratch your eyes out you....you heartless !@#%$@*$^ woman!"

Lhooh (with protruding arrows in the heart and stomach and gritting his teeth painfully): 
"Just because I gained a few ounces...fine... more like pounds! ...It doesn't mean I look like an old, fatherly guy! Grrrrr! &*^$!*%@# woman!"

Niao-Miao (concerned look):
"Oh dear, my brand new father and mother seem to be turning purple...hope they didn't catch a virus or something else here in China..."

American woman (puzzled look): 
"Strange folk! Maybe they have multiple personalities - one moment so jolly, the next second, they are like limp noodles...but are there noodles which are purple-colored? I've never actually seen one, but this IS China, so I shouldn't be surprised..."

As Niao-Miao suddenly said into the gathering silence that they were really just good friends traveling together in Beijing, she warily checked her friends' stony expressions to see if they had already cracked into itty-bitty pieces.

The American woman finally said goodbye after a few more comments on her trip, saying that she had to rejoin her party, and with a cheery wave and "Nice meeting you!" she drifted off.

Niao-Miao turned to her friends but before she could say something, Lhooh began in a fatherly way - "Okay dear daughter of mine," and continued huffily - "no dinner for you tonight!" He then indignantly marched off into the sunset.

One millisecond after, ChehCheh smiled at her and said in suspiciously dulcet tones, "And as for you my young daughter," and at this point Niao-Miao's eyes widened "...no more midnight snacks...forever!" and with her hackles still flying high into the sky, ChehCheh quickly followed after the father...ehrm...I mean Lhooh.

Niao-Miao wailed on cue and like pouring salt into a wound, called after them in the loudest voice imaginable (with matching pathetic sobs), "Waaah!! Honourable father and mother!.... What did I do?!"

Her brand-new parents wrathfully chorused from a distance, "You are grounded...for 100 years!"

DISCLAIMER: While the tale has some factual basis, the thought bubbles and other actions after the shocking statement were all made by up the author because she was not old enough to know what really went on her parents' minds at that time.